Zero Sex Drive? Let's Talk About Your Hormones!
Is Your Sex Drive In The Slow Lane (or No Lane)?
I vividly remember asking a new female patient in her 40’s about her sex drive. Without hesitation, she answered “I would rather have one of your acupuncture needles poke me right in the eye, than have sex!” And a split second after that statement, she cried. She went on to say she loved her husband, he was a great father, in shape, attractive and completely adored her. She was crying because she was riddled with guilt. She literally had no desire for sex and if she did have the desire the whole act of sex takes entirely way to much energy and she’s exhausted.
Can you relate or does this sound exactly like you? Do you feel guilty for not having the same drive as you first did in your relationship. Do you really enjoy sex but it takes entirely too much energy and you’d rather just curl up in your PJ’s on the couch until you doze off.
Whatever your feelings are about sex, this is a judgment free zone!
Most of my female patients are not coming to me with low libido as their primary concern. However, after we dive a little deeper into their initial consultation, it almost always comes up as a concern. As women, we may not want to talk about our sex drive (or lack of), but it is a silent struggle that I find many women are looking to “fix.”
The simple truth is healthy women have healthy sex drives.
It’s not about your partner wining and dining you or lighting every candle in the house and
playing Sade. It’s all about how your sex hormones and neurotransmitters are working together.
Plain and simple, you either make sex hormones or stress hormones but you don’t make both!!!
This means, if you are pumping out cortisol (stress hormone) all day long from your crazy stressful day, your sex hormones are lacking attention, balance and ultimately will not be the fine tuned symphony of hormones ready to make love. Instead, sex may seem more like a chore or another item on your to-do list after a stressful day of already completing to-do’s.
Basically what this all means is… balancing your hormones is the key to restoring a healthy libido!
Now let’s dive into how your hormones can spice up your sex drive.
However, here is my disclaimer. Hormone imbalance is highly individualized and my recommendation for anyone that suspects their hormones are a little whacky, work with a trained
practitioner like myself, for accurate testing and treatment protocol. The only way to surely
diagnose hormone imbalances is through proper blood and urine testing.
Ok, so let’s get into the juicy stuff.
“E” is for ESTROGEN(S)!
Estrogen is the hormone that makes us women. It’s responsible for our beautiful curves, hips, breasts and booty. Studies show, the higher your estrogen the greater your want and desire for sex. With robust levels of estrogen, we are more willing to initiate sex. It is also the hormone that helps get our sexy juices flowing.
However, estrogen is not just working as a single hormone. Estrogen can be broken down into 3 types, estrone, estradiol and estriol.
Estrone, or E1-think menopause. A moderately potent estrogen.
Estradiol, or E2-think reproductive years. The most physically active estrogen.
Estriol, or E3-think pregnancy. Has weak estrogen activity but considered to be a very protective estrogen and most prevalent in pregnancy.
When it comes to hormones, this is where the rubber meets the road. It’s not just about a serum test to let you know if you are high or low in total estrogen. It’s about knowing the ratio between these 3 estrogens and how your body is metabolizing them.
(To learn how Estrogen can be to blame for your high histamine, click here)
TESTOSTERONE- “The Manly-Man’s Hormone”
Although this is mostly discussed in men’s health, women have testosterone too. For women, a little testosterone can go along way, but we don’t want too little. Testosterone helps with bone density, tone and build muscle while we cultivate a competitive and healthy drive in life. Too little testosterone can make us feel depressed but too much can create agitation and irritability. A healthy level of testosterone also fuels our sexual desire and even improves orgasms. As you can see here, balance is key!
DOPAMINE- “The Pleasure Center”
Dopamine is not a hormone, it is the neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure. Increased dopamine levels in the brain directly correlate to an increase in libido and sexual motivation. Since dopamine helps us to anticipate pleasure, it in return it will signal our brain that sex equals pleasure. How to boost dopamine? In one word…novelty. Doing new things as a couple like taking a romantic get away or even a new adventure together as a couple can boost dopamine. The key is to do new things as a couple and any shared experience as a couple can ultimately echo into the bedroom.
SEROTONIN- “Happiness Maker”
Not to be a broken record but balance is everything! Serotonin, like dopamine is a neurotransmitter and not a hormone. Most serotonin (90%) is made in the gut. This is a plug for optimizing gut health! We know serotonin as our mood regulator. When serotonin is in balance, our mood is emotionally stable, we have focus and are energetic. However, when it comes to sex, too much serotonin can actually inhibit your sex drive. This is why certain antidepressants (SSRI’s) can deplete your libido. Lower levels of serotonin have been associated with higher sex drive, but too low of serotonin can be associated with aggressive behavior, impulsivity, insomnia and extremely low sexual desire.
DHEA- “The Ring Leader”
DHEA is the master hormone and it pretty much runs the show. It’s produced in the adrenal glands and it’s the precursor to both estrogen and testosterone. DHEA peaks in our mid-20’s and then gently declines after our 30’s. Stress is one of the fastest ways we deplete our DHEA. Oral contraception can also be a factor in DHEA depletion.
Longevity is associated with healthy DHEA levels, so ultimately I would like to see DHEA on the higher end of normal because of the health benefits it offers.
It can do all of the following and more:
Improves bone density
Helps in our resiliency to physically respond to stressors
Improves mood and cognitive functions
Improves insulin sensitivity
Decreases cardiovascular and cancer risk
Maintain muscle mass
And DHEA plays a major role in our pheromone production. You know, the scents animals and humans put out in the world to initiate attraction, resulting in a mate. These distinct scents often make us irresistible to the opposite sex, like animal attraction. This is how DHEA plays such an important part in sex drive, desire, attraction and even orgasms. If a woman comes to me with low sex drive and no sexual desire to speak of…. I check her DHEA levels ASAP.
Progesterone- “Not Tonight, Honey”
Before I bash progesterone on how is literally shuts down our sex drive, I will first praise it.
By the age of 50 we have literally lost 75% of our progesterone. Progesterone is naturally anti-inflammatory, anti-anxiety, improves our mood and keeps us as cool as a cucumber and helps us sleep soundly through the night. So, you can see why it needs to be praised. When it starts to tank we often notice insomnia, increased anxiety and we get cranky.
So how could this not be good for our sex drive? Well, progesterone is naturally highest after we ovulate. Meaning, no need to have sex to make a baby since we have already passed the baby-making ovulatory phase. When progesterone is in balance with estrogens the drop in sex drive is not super pronounced and for many women not even noticed. For women taking birth control pills, which often have high levels of progesterone, this can be a pretty significant factor in their totally tanked sex drive. No better birth control than absolutely killing the desire completely, right? And if by chance you still had the urge, high progesterone numbs and dulls the erogenous zones, making it harder to have an orgasm or maybe not have one at all.
OXYTOCIN- “The Cuddle Bug”
Oxytocin is a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland in the brain and it’s often called the cuddle or love hormone. It is easily secreted by snuggles, hugs, holding hands, bonding socially, spooning, holding a baby or even a puppy. Just feeling the bliss of being in love can stimulate your body to make oxytocin. Arousal and orgasms create surges of oxytocin levels. It is this surge that creates the uterine contractions you feel during and just after an orgasm.
This love hormone is essential in bonding with your lover or with a newborn child. Funny as it may sound, it also diminishes rational thinking, helping you fall head over heels in love. I guess the saying is true, love can make you stupid!
YOUR PERIOD- “The Ultimate Symphony”
The phases of your menstrual cycle greatly impact your sex drive and overall the way you feel. Your period is the ultimate symphony of hormones and chemicals coming together to rise and fall organically and make beautiful music together. At the beginning of your cycle hormones are low and by mid-cycle our estrogen and testosterone naturally rise which can boost your interest into being romantic. Just before you start your period, we get a hormone spike and
progesterone drops and for some this also spikes the urge for sex. However, if you experience painful periods, cramping, fatigue, back aches, headaches and overall irritability you are not likely to feel this surge in sexual desire. The work here would be to first alleviate these painful periods and then help you increase your libido.
HORMONES AND LIBIDO- “Like Goldilocks and her Porridge.”
You can see now how your libido is a direct reflection of whether your hormones are in balance or not. A healthy libido is all about healthy and balanced hormones! It’s not just about having more of one single hormone or another. As women, we are just not that simple. We need our hormones to be just right!
If you are looking to ignite your sexual flame once again, it is essential to assess and address your hormones. Testing is the best way to accurately diagnose hormone imbalances. Advanced testing will give the perfect picture of how (or not) the symphony of hormones is working and with this information we can tailor a treatment protocol specific to what needs to be fine tuned.
Stop feeling guilty. You are not alone. Now that you understand the reasons behind your lack of sexual desire, lets work on getting your spark back! If you are ready to get to the root of your libido struggles then let’s get to work. Start by calling my office to schedule an appointment, 561-336-3144